All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Pooping to opera.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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