I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
