I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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