and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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