you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.