My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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