Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
