Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
