Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
