What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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