And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
