I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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