Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
This house was built for laser tag.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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