If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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