Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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