what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
