Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
