A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
