He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
