Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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