the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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