"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
