you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
