I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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