SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
