Your dad touched me again.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
