The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize