There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
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