the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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