She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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