Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
