yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
