That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize