the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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