Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.

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  (757): I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton. http://tfl.nu/4m44
  Replies (59) Good night (2384) Bad night (1037)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.

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  (603): well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access. http://tfl.nu/o23q
  Replies (26) Good night (3965) Bad night (1448)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.

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  (304): it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast. http://tfl.nu/xssi
  Replies (8) Good night (1150) Bad night (5312)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  That's yours. We cut you off.

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  (715): Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off? (651): That's yours. We cut you off. http://tfl.nu/7df9
  Replies (3) Good night (3918) Bad night (912)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.

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  (713): He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that. http://tfl.nu/cec8
  Replies (6) Good night (697) Bad night (1512)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.

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  (615): i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at. http://tfl.nu/fdq1
  Replies (2) Good night (1713) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot

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  (859): when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot http://tfl.nu/j6dz
  Replies (4) Good night (1560) Bad night (544)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.

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  (717): the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home. http://tfl.nu/v69g
  Replies (5) Good night (1629) Bad night (541)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.

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  (704): It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals. http://tfl.nu/tnox
  Replies (4) Good night (2075) Bad night (678)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.

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  (315): I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady. http://tfl.nu/u0md
  Replies (19) Good night (2172) Bad night (646)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.

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  (218): He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small. http://tfl.nu/riyf
  Replies (17) Good night (328) Bad night (2467)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.

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  (619): So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole. http://tfl.nu/on15
  Replies (3) Good night (413) Bad night (386)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants

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  (248): I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants http://tfl.nu/k0mn
  Replies (6) Good night (1216) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.

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  (989): You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face. http://tfl.nu/p4hv
  Replies (2) Good night (447) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.

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  (703): There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits. http://tfl.nu/9vrk
  Replies (2) Good night (569) Bad night (573)

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