Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Michael Bay diarrhea
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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