My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
