I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
