I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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