Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
