ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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