He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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