I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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