I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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