Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
