Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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