I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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