So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
