HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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