Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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