Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
