I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
