he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
