I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
