Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
