I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
