My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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